The true purpose of Twin Flame Connections

Dr. Lisa Xochitl Vallejos
4 min readFeb 14, 2018

Imagine meeting your perfect half…the person in whose eyes you find home, who is a perfect reflection to you, whose strengths are your weaknesses and who is your counterpart.

They come into your life and it’s as if a sudden bolt of lightning hits — the world is suddenly brighter, everything tastes, smells and feels better. Your heart is uplifted and the dreams that suddenly seemed out of reach are now within grasp.

With this person by your side, you can do anything. You know you have found The One and your heart explodes with a love you didn’t know was possible.

But that is only the beginning.

The real purpose of the Twin Flame connection isn’t to swirl around in loves bliss like a character in The Sound of Music.

The real purpose of the Twin Flame connection is to unearth all the shit that you’ve carried, consciously and unconsciously that has kept you from becoming who you are meant to be.

Twin Flame relationships appear so they can rip the covers back on all the facades you’ve built, the lies you’ve bought into, the ways in which you’ve kept yourself small, the hidden addictions, the secrets and lies, the deepest fears, the ways in which you’ve compromised and it tears down the defenses you have erected to keep yourself “safe”.

Twin Flame relationships are a path of enlightenment and as Adyashanti said “Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.”

When a person meets their twin flame, if they don’t know that this path is one that will break them down in order to build them back up as they are truly meant to be, they will run from it. They will think it was a huge cosmic joke because how could the Universe deliver your perfect other half for it to be so damn hard? That is the wrong question to ask.

Instead, look to Rumi, who said, “your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”. Your job, as a twin flame, is to not focus on your counterpart but to focus on healing yourself.

What barriers do YOU have? What ways have YOU limited yourself? When you feel your twin has abandoned you, or is not choosing you, look within to see the ways in which you have abandoned and not chosen yourself. That is where the magic really lies.

This type of love — the type of love that shatters your entire worldview and makes you question everything you have previously thought to be true is not an easy path because it requires you to level up, in every way. Everything will be challenged and called into question because a tiny cup can’t hold the whole ocean. You must expand if you are to hold such a great love.

The true purpose of a twin flame is to help mold you into the type of person who is capable of embodying divine, unconditional love…first for yourself, and then for humanity. As you walk this journey, you will learn to love yourself with a fierceness that will increase your capacity to love others, and all humanity in much more expansive way. As you surrender your desire to control, to create specific outcomes and to have things look a certain way and learn to walk with complete faith and total abandon, you’ll grow as a person, which will help to elevate the collective consciousness.

The real purpose of Twin Flame is not about great sex, emotional highs and an epic love story — it’s to wake you up, shake you up and call you higher. It is a gift presented by the Divine — one you can only grasp fully when you’ve released all the smaller things you’ve been clinging to for so long that no longer serve you.

If you’re on this journey, don’t worry so much about the other person — just be the wild, divine, unconditional lover you are and continue to become the best person you can be. That’s the true purpose and regardless of how the connection ends up, becoming who you are meant to be is a gift without measure.

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