To the guy who wants to “get to know me”

So, I did a thing. I made an application to get to know me because I’ve noticed a pattern recently. A guy will reach out on social media, usually with “hey”, or “hi” or “what’s up”. Although it grates on my nerves because C’mon Son, at least be interesting and tell me what the hell you’re writing me for, I sometimes reply (I run businesses and sometimes, it’s professional).

By the way, if you are reaching out for professional reasons, please detail that in your message. I mean, I really shouldn’t have to say this but something like “Dear Dr. V, I saw your work on X and was wondering if (state your ask here). Please let me know if….”. will help both of us. You’re welcome.

Most of the time, it’s personal. The guy wants to chat for some reason, and often times, the reason is unclear and the shit is aggravating. I mean, at my billing rate, when you start wasting my time, you are messing with my money and that is NEVER a good thing to do.

Then, we have the guy who is interested and wants to chat and that’s all he wants to do…He has no real interest or intention to meet up in real life so he drags his feet. Maybe he’s lonely or just wants a friend to connect with but if that’s the case, here’s a cool website where you can find a penpal and maybe learn a new language at the same time. Win-win.

We also have the guy who wants to chat because he’d like to lead up to the big reveal — you got it, the #unsoliciteddickpic or the guy who chats and tells you that he has “complications”, which turn out to be a whole ass relationship he’s trying to conceal.

Basically, too many men are wasting too much of mine and other people’s valuable time. That’s why I created this form. The guy who wants to waste my time won’t bother to fill it out so I am dodging a bullet. The guy who will take the time is demonstrating a certain level of being willing to invest his time in being a part of my life. Depending on how they answer, I may weed them out and save both of us time.

Yes, this is what it has come to but hey, it’s better than spending time chatting with someone only to have them send you an email from the perspective of Brett Kavanaugh (yes, that really happened).

So, if you want to get to know me, you’re gonna have click this link to apply. Just be happy I’m not charging a deposit.

Ph.D. in Psychology. Love and Liberation. www.lisavallejos.com

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